Resetting My Brain To Be More DreamWard Bound


The past two or three weeks have been pretty stressful for me. I couldn’t figure out how to balance my day job, commute, and creative life. I just could not do it. I realized this week with a little help from a friend that I needed to step back and breathe. I needed to reset to see my projects as projects not stressers.

Taking a step back meant that I focused this week on resetting my brain and relaxing. I needed some rest, because I work 40 hours a week at my day job and then 20 hours (on a ‘good’ week) at my creative life. Most Saturdays now are focused solely on creative stuff. Sundays I force myself to not be creative. I basically burnt myself out and tried to keep going, until this week.

This week I took a break from everything. That is why I only posted one thing this week. I only worked on my creative life on Monday. The rest of the week was focused on helping friends, hanging out with them and not worrying.

I also took yesterday off of work to do errands and adult stuff that I never have time to do, so that is a load off my shoulders. I was going to be creative for most of the day, but adult stuff takes time and a friend was able to do lunch while my car was getting its oil change. Hanging out with my friend seemed like a good plan, especially since this weekend will be heavily focused on creative stuff. Today a friend and I are getting together for Caffeinated Creative Capers, which is basically us sitting in a coffee shop working on our projects together for 5 hours. Than on tomorrow I will be painting with another friend. We will be painting faces and on canvas, so I am looking forward to that.

Hopefully this packed weekend of creativity will complete the resetting of my brain and push me towards my goals and dreams quicker or at least help me get there. I know stress, worry, and a clouded head is the worst thing to have when trying to be creative. I just need to remember to make sure I clear away the cobwebs of everyday living regularly, I guess.

Now, I am going to prepare for being creative and leave you with the one thing I did this week.

Weekly Writing Prompt (#33)

Makes Me Beautiful

ME 152

What makes me beautiful? What is pleasing to the senses?

You may answer my curves. I do have them and the contrasting peaks and valleys are pleasing to the eyes. Yet, I believe that the strength hidden within the curves of my body are more beautiful than the outward appearance. You see my body hides its toughness and endurance behind my hour-glass form.

Perhaps you believe that my eyes are what makes me beautiful as they sparkle with blue hues. I could agree with you as I do think that my eyes are beautiful. Still what makes them beautiful is the mind and heart that is behind them. It is the life and love that shines out of them.

My smile, lips and mouth are also physical features that could be pretty by themselves. They are brought into beauty by how they are used. My smile shows the happiness that lies within my soul. My lips and mouth are only beautiful because of the encouraging words and unique thoughts that come from within.

You see my mind, soul, and heart are what makes me beautiful in my eyes. My outward appearance in beautiful because it shines what is inside.

Now that I answered what makes me beautiful I ask you, “What makes you beautiful?”

Artist ( A Monologue)


I want to boldly tell you; I am an artist. I’m sure you already knew that or at least suspected. I mean how can anyone really hide their creativity? I know I’ve tried to hide or ignore my creative side, wanting to be normal. I yearned for a quiet mind that could simply observes the world and did not have a need to share its beauty.

Yes, there was a time I wanted to be normal, but not any more. An ordinary life in no life for me and if it seems like my life is just like yours ask me what I’m thinking about. For you see I have worlds and universes living in my head. My mind is filled with lands of poetry, worlds of paintings, and many stories in many different universes. They are all just waiting to be created.

When I am at my day job tapping the keys of my computer part of my mind may be trapping dragons to get to the keys of a prison to rescue some royalty. While I’m driving home I am most likely also involved in an elaborate love affair that will tragically end  when I park my car. If I am watching the sunset I am also memorizing the colors in hopes that I could paint it one day.

You see my mind is not a quiet place most of the time, which now I love. It makes my life extraordinary in an ordinary world. This is why I must boldly tell you; I am an artist. I’m sure you already knew that or at least suspected.

The Whole 100 Day Challenge Thoughts

ocean walk 192


101 days ago now I started a challenge that I challenged myself to. This challenge was to create an exercise routine that I can do everyday for 100 days.

I got this idea from a friend at work who is doing a 100 day challenge for herself. She has her 15 minute routine that she does every day. She found this “century” challenge first from a sword fighting challenge she heard of or did. It was basically 100 strikes for 100 days. She took the idea and made it into a workout challenge.

I took this idea and made it my own.

Here is my challenge that I started to refer to as the workout. It’s 10 reps of 10 different exercises

  • 10 Squats (and hold for 10 seconds after)
  • 10 Russian Twists
  • 10 push ups (hold in plank for 10 seconds after)
  • 10 crunches
  • 10 shrimp/ hip escapes (each side)
  • 10 hip switches (another shrimping move)
  • 10 bridges
  • 10 bicycles (to each side)
  • 10 leg lifts
  • 10 Cross-body mountain Climber (That may not be the name, but I know what it means)

The catch with this challenge is that I would do these exercises for 100 days and if I missed a day I would reset the day count. This means if I am at day 66 and missed a day I would have to reset the day count, so the next day I will be at day 0 or 1 depending if I actually workout.

If you read my first challenge post the challenge did change a little. I realized that I could not do any sort of roll in my room, where I did the workout. I also marked the bicycles differently because I counted the right way (1 meant both sides) and wanted to keep it consistent with the other counting.

I did mention that I was going to keep track of the challenge with a log of some kind. It turned out to be a paper taped to my bathroom mirror. I wrote a line a day and posted the thoughts throughout the challenge after I filled up a sheet.

Here is the full 100 day list of thoughts as I did this challenge.

  1. It does not matter when you start, just that you start.
  2. Starting is the hardest and scariest part of the journey but needed. (I also wrote see twitter for 2.2.15, which says, “One day I will be able to submit someone in a fight, today is not that day, but it was a learning day closer”)
  3. Change, goals, and dreams don’t happen overnight, work towards them day after day.
  4. Convincing yourself you’re worth the work is work but worth it.
  5. Little by little and step by step is what it takes to see massive changes.
  6. By pushing yourself to do something you don’t think you can do you may find out you can.
  7. Fighting for tomorrow mean giving up you’re today. Also there is 2 parts of you the cannot and the can learn how to make the can side win. (That was after a 2 am workout, because I stayed out late with my friends)
  8. If you know how you learn, you will learn more. (This was a class day.)
  9. Working for what you want will pay off if you are constant.
  10. You know you’ve found your thing when the pain is worth it. (This was followed by a side note of  “yay, chokes. :-)”)
  11. Sometimes you just need to take way the options, make your step towards success mandatory.
  12. Starting is the worst, it’s hard and sucks, but shows you what you can do. Stick with it. You got this.
  13. I may be tired; I may not be clever, but I am doing what I set out to do.
  14. Your goals should be fun, educational and worth the pain. (This was another class day.)
  15. Making a goal a need makes it easier to do, even if it’s by force.
  16. Friends should make the goals easier. (This should be a class day note.)
  17. It’s getting easier.
  18. You know you’re doing something different and hard when you start to question seeming random choices in your life.
  19. I guess some days you just do and not learn.Doing is valuable too
  20. Some days you just have to make time. It’s worth it.
  21. Pushing yourself forward is just walking on a path or journey towards your goals. (This was a class day, also.)
  22. You can do anything as long as you work for it.
  23. People will notice your efforts. Keep on to show yourself your efforts. (This was a class day, I  know because people are starting to see my efforts in class. I don’t yet see my improvements, though. I still feel like a newbie who knows nothing.)
  24. Strength is worked at not given.
  25. You can still work even if you are tired. It will be more of an accomplishment.
  26. Sometimes realizing it’s the last part of the day makes the rest worth it.
  27. Sometimes seeing the tally marks is the only thing to make you/ me to do another day.
  28. If someone, even yourself, says you can’t tell them/ you that you can or show them.
  29. Today I didn’t really know why I was doing my challenge, but that did not stop me from doing it.
  30. Today fun was brought, along with struggle, learning, fighting and sore body. I’m smiling. (It was a class day.)
  31. Forgot to mark I guess I wasn’t thinking only doing.
  32. It’s midnight, I’m not going to be smart. Do it. IT’s easier once it’s a habit.
  33. Another midnight workout. Tired but smiling. I did stuff today. Improv, site and workout.
  34. Not related, but still what I was thinking. Beauty is in the heart and soul not body. New tonight I actually do a sit up fully.
  35. Sometimes you learn from what other people do. I’m smiling. (It was a class day.)
  36. My knee is hurting so I changed things up and did extra of what I could. I didn’t let pain win, I adapted.
  37. Ow, everything hurts, but that doesn’t mean I’m quitting gotta keep fighting on. (It was a class day.)
  38. If I feel my muscles they are solid and great. I’m sore but strong.
  39. I wanted to go for a walk today as if my brain is changing.
  40. I realized today I’m working on being the dream girl for my dream guy which some how means I can’t live in a dream world. (I actually wrote a post about this.)
  41. 42% done. (I was a day off). I’m feeling awesome about working out when I wanted to sleep.
  42. Friends make things better. Also experiencing different things. (It was a class day.)
  43. A workout routine or goal routine gets better with momentum so once you start don’t stop.
  44. It always is great when people can see the results of your efforts. (It was a class day.)
  45. Just looking and knowing your progress/ journey helps.
  46. No one really knows where you started only results and what you share.
  47. Just doing what you set out for means something.
  48. I want to be where I want to be but I know once I get there I’ll want to be somewhere else.
  49. Halfway there baby! And almost didn’t even mark it. (Again a day early)
  50. I feel like I had an accomplished day, which I haven’t felt like in a while. It made me want to do more.
  51. Make sure you’re smiling more than you are frowning.
  52. Schedule, plan and remember your goals during the day.
  53. I’m tougher and stronger than I give myself credit for and you most likely are the same.
  54. Feeling pooped and icky is not an excuse. You can still reach for your goals. ( I was happy with this day, since there was a smiley face after it.)
  55. I’m so ready for bed, but I did my exercises so won’t be angry with myself tomorrow.
  56. Good day, good training and good fun. (It was a BJJ class day and I was smiling.)
  57. I feel like a warrior. A sneezing warrior, but still I’m a fighter now.
  58. I took the day off get stuff done and did everything and them some with a smile on my face. (It was another smiling BJJ class day.)
  59. I am becoming a better me at least with fitness. Life is a process.
  60. Only 40 more days until a new goal or challenge. I’m excited.
  61. I’m realizing the scale is not my friend. I am tougher than it tell me since I am not used to muscle.
  62. I didn’t think about working out I just did it. That’s what happens when goals become habit.
  63. You can learn anything, just try and ask questions. ( It was a BJJ class day. )
  64. New goals, new challenges and dreams combine beautifully.
  65. Pushing yourself when you think you can’t won’t only prove the negative thought bit also put a smile on your face.
  66. Always looking back may be a bad thing. Yet being reminded of how far you’ve come is good.
  67. Even if you don’t feel like you can do it doesn’t mean you can’t. You can do it.
  68. You really do control your attitude and mood so believe you can and be happy.
  69. It’s hard to do your daily goals when your routine is off; hard not impossible.
  70. Pushing yourself is always good. ( I went to my first BJJ tournament on this day.)
  71. No matter what you think you are awesome. (I went to the tournament again and decided I wanted to start working towards competing.)
  72. I may have shown up lat to class but I showed up. (I showed up half an hour late to class because of traffic and work. I still showed up though.)
  73. You life is yours so live you life and achieve your goals.
  74. Being positive and thinking positive changes everything.
  75. I’m pretty sure I can do anything I set my mind to and you can too.
  76. Since I danced and did kick boxing I did my workout a bit different but I did it.
  77. The challenge is paying off. I’m seeing physical, mental and endurance changes. (I went to class that day. I must have been able to do more than normal.)
  78. Always be honest with yourself and know what motivate you.
  79. Hobbies and goals should be fun work. If not why do them. (I went to class and it must have been a fun one, since I was thinking about fun work.)
  80. Woot! It’s tough but I keep going (This was on day 80).
  81. Support is great and needed to have. Be grateful for your support system.
  82. It amazes me what a little bit of happiness can do sometimes. (Meaning some times it amazes me.  A little bit of happiness can do so much.)
  83. I can do anything because I keep the right attitude.
  84. A little encouragement can go a long way. (This was a class day.)
  85. I really fought with myself to do the workout but I did it and I am happy I did.
  86. I have the biggest smile on my face because I learn so much and felt the workout like crazy. (I had a Monday class, so yeah it was a workout.)
  87. The mind is powerful don’t waste it.
  88. I can tell this is still just the beginning of my healthy journey, but I’ve already come so far.
  89. It all seems like a mind game right now, and I am winning.
  90. 2 classes =2.5 hours is a great way to celebrate day 90.
  91. Only 9 more days and I’m feeling great. (Said with two smiles worth of happiness after another class.)
  92. Today seemed like a long day, good but long. Also I am loving BJJ more and more.
  93. I pulled something at class, so the last 7 days will be interesting.
  94. The pulled muscle/ part of leg is feeling better, still modified my workout. I’m happy with the results. I keep on going.
  95. Still modified the workout, but did more of what I can do. Only 5 more days now. Time to finish strong.
  96. Still modified the workout, still doing workout plus a little extra. I’m feeling positive with 4 days to go.
  97. I still modified the workout, but did even more of what I can do. Also I use to not be able to do 10 crossovers/ Russian twists. Now I can do 30 non-stop which makes me smile.
  98. I had a great class and really happy with my improvements.
  99. One more day. I’m feeling like a warrior. (Said with a smile on my face.)
  100. Woot! Woot! Yeah Buddy! I did 100 days and ended with an awesome class.

My final thoughts of this challenge was that it is great. I can do more of the basic exercises and can do my shrimping moves better. While doing what the workout I also stretched before hand on most days. This started as a bonus but is actually the part that I can see myself carrying still.

More than being better at the basics of BJJ this challenge showed me that I am determined. It also taught me that my brain is powerful and can over come my body. If I push with my brain and heart my body will follow; If I try to push with my body my brain will turn my will off.

If nothing else I will take away the strength of my brain.

Now it is on to my next 100 challenge that will be focusing on that brain of mine. More details will come in a different post. I’m pretty sure you are done reading this, just like I am done writing this.

Lastly, again YAY! I finished.

Control of My Brain (creative ramblings)


I am in control of my brain. Yes, I am. I control what I think. Hey, did I just wink or was it just a one eye blink? Wait, no I was telling you how I control my brain. I control what I think and how my mind works. It works because I see a cat. He is a cute cat. Hey, no, brain, come on. I control you. Stop, serious, stop being distracted. Stop in the name of love, before you break my heart. Nope, I am not going start singing now, even though it’s fun to do. Well, it can be fun to do. Maybe I should just listen to music. Oh look, YouTube is up. I should check that out.

Come on brain. Focus! I am in control. I will not get distracted and will write about being in control. I will do it. I am in control of what I think and how my brain works.

There I did it. Now, brain you can you back to daydreaming and thinking about the sound a cat makes as he is playing with a toy.

I’ll wait (A Poem about writing)


I will wait
for inspiration to come
for thought to appear,
like a word bubble from my head.

I will wait
until my mind is ready
and my brain turns on,
like a computer booting up.

I will wait
until I am ready
until my body tells me
it is time to write.

Then when patience
is no longer needed
and inspiration comes
I will write.
I will write whatever
my mind tells me to write,
my brain whispers to my fingers,
and what is scribbled
in the thought bubble above my head.

When I know what to write
I will ready my body
unleash my mind
and write,
but until then
I will wait.

 Sometimes you need to wait other times you just need to write. This of course is a combination of both. I needed to write as I waited.

Brain melt (poem)


My brain is melting
turning to mush.
Driving to work
and working all day
has melted the things
that use to be in my head.

My mind is melting
rotting into mush.
I think I can feel
the goo dripping out.

My brain is melting
turning to mush.
My mind is melting
rotting into mush.
And now I think
I have said too much.


I’m DreamWard Bound (August 9th to the 16th)



I’m feeling good with how my week turned out. I wrote poems and posted videos this week. I also joined a gym that is near my house today. Things seem to be going well for me as I sit and write this blog. I mean I was a bit drained and stressed from work along with everything else by Friday, but playing Pathfinder with my friends helped that. I was able to relax and be a bit crazy. It amazes me sometimes how much laughter can help wash the week’s stress away.

I am super excited about the ideas for this coming week and the fact that I will really be starting on my fitness goal. I also have a few poems brewing in my mind that are asking to be shared with you. I will share the new poems with you unless there are explosions around me, which I do not foresee happening.

Yes, I am in  a weirder mood as I update you on this week and a bit all over the place. I may not be stressed from the week any more, but that does not mean that I am not thinking about everything going on whether it is something random or otherwise. I have many plans and many ideas floating around in my mind. I am still not sure how to do everything I want to do, but I at least know what I can do for the time being.

I should write more and tell you more about my week. I am being a space shot though and so very easily distracted that I will just leave you with a list of things I did this week. At other points in the week I will write more about my journey and life.


Poem for Robin Williams

Why? (A Poem)

Crumble Down (a poem)

Stay (a Poem)


Connecting with a Character (write-up)


Writing Process (a free verse poem)


Poetry comes out
with my eyes closed
when sleep in near;
brilliant poems flow
when paper is far
and repeating is not enough.
Wisdom and intelligence overwhelm me
when the only outlet is to speak it to myself
or when no one is listening.

Yet when I open my eyes
words fly away
like fading dreams they fly.
The poetry inside is trapped
like a rat in a house unable to be freed
as soon as the paper is in reach.
I open my mouth when some is around
and only babble spews out.

So I write with my eyes closed,
freeing my poems from the paper trap
and write when no on is around
with the quiet of my mind.

Where Happiness does hide. (a Monorhyme poem)



A Monorhyme is a poem in which all the lines have the same end rhyme.

This should be easy.

My brain is fried
so I must look for a guide
To take me to the other side
where happiness does hide
I know the valley seems wide
but I am sure we can reach the other side
I have not heard of any one who has died,
so put aside your pride
and be my guide
so that I can find
a way to the other side
where I know happiness does hide,
for I have not lied
my brain is truly fried
and must have a guide
to help me to the other side
where happiness does hide.

Yeah, I repeated myself with the happiness does hide, but it rhymes and my brain really is fried. 

Let me know what you think and thank you for reading.