Dream’s Journey to Reality

I realized that the act of being told I deserved my dream guy, by someone who at the time I had hoped somehow would become him, was the start of something. It was a starting point and a start of a change. I realized I did have a dream guy in my head and an ideal, but it was hard to see him falling for who I was.

I was a dreamer living primarily in my dream world, wondering why it didn’t match reality. I dreamed about being a famous actor, but did nothing with my degree. I had dreams of being a paid author but only doodled down ideas and circular story plots. I even dreamed of my dream guy rescuing me from my ordinary life and whisking me away to my dreams.

Realizing my dream guy, whoever he was, would not think of me as his dream girl was the best thing that happened to me. It brought me into reality or really it helped bring me into reality. It helped me wake up and notice that this life I was living was mine.

I realized I needed to save myself from my ordinary life. I needed to do the work and not wait for someone to hand me my dreams. I started to write and focus my writing. I started to make goals and choices that would help me find my dreams.

I finally wrote a first draft of a novel that wasn’t just me dreaming. I started to look for and practice monologues in hopes that I would find at least one that would click well with me. Basically I started to do stuff to become my dream person.

You see I also realized I wasn’t my dream self. I needed to become her to find my happiness. I needed to be the strong hard worker with the joyful and friendly personality that my dream self was.

I know I still have improvements to make and goals that still need to be met, but I am happy most of the time and so much closer to becoming my dream self.

I mean it may seem like my dreams aren’t made and it’s true my main dreams aren’t. However, I act in my improv group which reminds me why I love acting and I get to act almost every week. I write at least 2 times a week and people read my words. On average there are 100 visits to my site every week. Also, I’m surround with so many loving friends and family members that although I haven’t met my dream guy, yet, I still know I’m loved. These people are my dream people. They are such a loving and uplifting group of people, who I get to be around or talk with. It’s like I have an expert on  every issue I could have, and I have at least one person to talk out any need that I have.

And, honestly, when I do meet my dream guy I’ll happily live in this world with him, instead of hoping for a dream one, because even though this life is hard I wouldn’t change it. I guess I did find my dream world after all, it just was not what I was expecting.

Thank you (A Gratitude Poem)

poetry

Thank you for looking
and reading
and seeing
into my soul
into my heart.

Thank you for living
and laughing
and loving
with me
around me
and far from me.

Thank you for being
the person you use to be
who made you to the person you are
and is pushing you to be the person you will be.

Thank you for viewing
and supporting
visiting and liking
what I do
who I am
and how I do things.

Thank you.

Here is a fast but from the heart poem. Let me know what you think and if you are reading this, this poem is for you. I am truly grateful for every person who follows me and every view. 

I hope you have a wonderful day and let me know what you think. 

Voice

writing

Why do I have a voice and where does it come from? Am I just a person going through the world, doing what I want and saying whatever comes to my mind? No, the answer has to be no. I am more than just a stranger with no message. I am more than a blank face in the crowd. I want to stand out in the seas of the world and declare I am not normal. I am not just a yapping dog trying to get scraps of attention. I am not simply a girl wanting to better myself.

So Why do I have a voice? Where does it come from? I  have a voice to shine love on everyone. I have a voice to encourage and show others that they can reach for the stars. They can do everything they want to, because they are breathing. I have a voice to share my story. And I have a voice to shout my love.

Where does it come from? My voice comes from being able to breathe, from being alive. It comes from God above who has taught me what true love is. My voice comes from the God who has given me breath and life.  It comes from the people around me who tell me that I do indeed have this voice and lifts me up to be all that I was meant to be. My voice comes from far deeper than I let on.

If there is a reason for my voice and I have things I want to say with it, and since it comes from the greatest being ever to live, than why don’t I use it? Why do I blend into the crowd of the world and act like a yapping dog begging for attention? Why do I not stand up and declare “You are loved! You can be all that you want to be!”

You will be seeing changes from me.

DreamWard Bound (5/18-5/24/14)

success

 

I’m going to try something new this week. Instead of trying to think of my entire week all at once, I have taken notes and editing them together. My thinking is that you will get a more detailed and dynamic post.

On Monday I finished reading the shooting script of “When Harry Met Sally.” It was really great and I loved being able to see what a real movie script looks like. I have read a lot of play scripts and my brother-in-law’s script, “Empty.” This was one that I already knew the movie to and read because of that fact. It was a great read and I could see the writer’s voice, even in the shot set ups which I really enjoyed.

I also wrote on Monday, “I am excited about picking and working on my next monologue/ stated song.” And that “I will also be starting a new challenge and facing my fears more… With the exception of escalators and birds, because come on stairs should not move and birds are evil.” As far as facing my fears goes, I did not see any fears to face. I will be keeping this fear facing in mind as I go on with my life though.

Well as you can see from the video I did work on the monologue all week. I most likely should have worked on it more, but this is a process of growth. Not Every video will be amazing. I just hope you like one or two that I do.

I also spent Monday looking for and organizing more monologue/ songs.

On Tuesday I walked around my work with some co-workers for 15 minutes. I did not do anything creative, but since I spent all night on Monday working on my monologue I was not too worried or upset.

On Wednesday I went walked again for another 15 minutes, wrote for about 10 (most likely more) and went to an open house, that ended poorly. Another thing is that I read for most of the car ride to work and part of the way home also. That was the day I started to read Self-Editing For Fiction Writer, which is the book I mentioned in  In The Diner. 

Thursday  I wrote, “I love when monologues come together and you make discoveries. I also think I figured out how to introduce the video.”

Friday I spent the night in, which let me write, work on my monologue and relax.

I’m writing this on Saturday, even though you most likely are reading it on Sunday. I would rather spread out my posts, so that they don’t get lost in your reader, twitter feed, or FB news feed. Also, I do not like getting a bunch of notices/ tweets from the same person all at once, so I won’t do that to you.

Now as far as today goes I walked for a little over half an hour, which meant I walked for 2 miles. I also weighed myself and am down about 2 lbs, which is mostly due to not eating candy or chips at work and walking a little every day. I also posted my weekly video, wrote this post, and read a bunch in my Bible.

After all that is said and written, the real question is what shall I do now?